Looking for a fight

I am having a terrible day I didn't realize it was a bad day until I got home and thought to myself you have been looking for a fight all week... What is wrong with me, I learned a long time ago that anger stems from deep seeded sadness, so what am I sad about?... Well I had some water heater, family Drama last week that had me in tears for hours that's right folks hours, I completely lost it. my Mother of course spent hours driving me crazy with the intent to help solve my problem. God bless her heart she was very helpful but I was in no place to be around anyone. I love fall and I am sad that my husband is not here to enjoy it with me I know that. There is also alot of animosity here at home the kids are fighting non stop and I know that they are feeding off of me. I have been very cruel with my words to them lately and I know that is not fair.I am also coming to the realization that my life is going by to quickly. Have I hit my midlife ccrisis? I guess I need to ponder on that for a while but meanwhile I will try not to look like this girl....