Well October is half way over I cant believe how the time flies I was right it has proved to be a difficult month but I think it will get a little worse next week. Work is keeping me so busy right now and I wish I had more time and energy to put into it but I am so busy at home as well Ryan Jessie and Jaxon really need me at home right now and hopefully Jeremy will be home soon. I am so excited for the deer hunt but who knows if Jeremy will make it home in time to go and I dont know if I want to go by myself. Ryan got dizzy at school today and I had to pick him up from school. That was just lovely however I did give him a big list of chores to do while he was home and I came home to a pretty clean house (thanks mom) I guess Amy is staying in Washington for a few more days and I am pretty sure she is stoked about that. AWell that is all I have to say today just thought I would give everyone and update.

Oh man where to start well September had been a hectic month Bubba's First Birthday went off with a bang we had alot of fun he got a car he can ride around on and he really likes that. He has grown up so much. He is starting to talk a little He know how to clap Thanks uncle Danny, He can say bye bye and wave bye bye he also throws away his own diaper infact he throws everything away my brush a pair of underwear my phone I found all sorts of things in the garbage you have to be careful when he is around he will throw everything away. It has been a rough month with my older to kids though they are driving me nuts I thnk we are all just waiting for Daddy to finally come home. He has been working out of town for so long and we really miss him. Lay off is right around the corner though and he should be here soon.

On a bit of a sadder note a good friend of mine infact my oldest best friend Kimberly Rae Smith Scott passed away in her sleep on 9/11 She will be missed by so many of us I put a picture of all of us (the old gang and her closest friends) on here it was good to see everyone get together we had a party in her honor before the funeral and myself and her husband got Black widow spider tattoo's in her honor. She will be greatly missed. I was asked to speak at her funeral which is a great honor but it was the hardest thing I have ever had to do. I did get through the whole thing with out crying though yay me. I was also fortunate enough with the help of some friends and gracious people to get the spray for her casket her family asked for black roses I thought that was a little morbid but it was beautiful. And Black was her favorite color. Her Husband Shad has been a friend of mine for 8 years I knew him before he knew her and I am grateful for my friendship with him. He has been a good shoulder to cry on and I hope he has said the same for me She is in heaven with her son now and I am happy for her. I will do all I can to help take care of the one she left behind.

I am glad september is over but October I think will prove to be an even harder month work is going to get crazy again. And I am not sure if I can handle all that will be asked of me but I will try my hardest. I am looking forward to the deer hunt though that should be fun. I have not gotten to deer hunt with J yet and I am really excited about that. His brothers and his dad as well as us all have a tag so it will not be a he man woman haters hunting club this year girls have to be alowed this time and they will like it they will have to cause I will be armed and dangerous.

Well I am off to put my Three little angles to bed so I will keep you all posted.

FIRST BIRTHDAY BLUES

Well it is official my Baby is turning 1 he will be having his party tomorrow and I am not that excited about it. I cant believe the last year has gone by so fast. He is walking already and into everything. I have avoided this party and the whole Idea of his birthday so much that I realized yesterday that I didn't know what kind of cake I was going to make his Birthday has no theme and I really don't want to do anything with it. So I gave up and had wal-mart make the cake Lynda will be picking it up for me on her way down thank Lynda. I did buy him some presents and get invitations out but that is it. I am a terrible mother but I am exhausted and I don't want him to grow up anyway. I like him the way he is.

Back to School!!!!!

Back to school Hooray! We met our teachers tonight and I think I really like them both. I am not sure the kids are as excited as I am but I couldn't be more thrilled. Class Starts tomorrow at 8 am I am sure my mom is excited too. Ryan went to the dentist yesterday and he had 3 teeth pulled but Jessica was fine as far as the dentist goes However she did have to go to the doctor today for a BEE sting she is allergic and her allergy just gets worse and worse I am thinking we may need to carry and epi pen from now on. Jer said he might be coming home but I think all he is going to do is elk hunt they are out of oil already for the job so things could get scary, But for now things are good School is starting life couldn't be better.

8 is Great !!!!

8 Things I look forward to...
1. Seeing Jeremy
2. School Starting
3. Work Getting Easier
4. My Next Movie with the Girls
5. This Weekend
6. Getting My Nails Done Next Week
7. New Years Party At Rogers
8. Halloween with the Kids

8 Things I did Yesterday...
1. Went to the Airport to get Jessica
2. Ate Dinner with Erin and Ben
3. Talked on the phone to Jeremy
4. Cleaned a good portion of the House
5. Watched Army Wives
6. Made Dinner for my kids for the first time in a month we had BBQ Chicken Sandwiches
7. put my new comforter set on my bed
8. Chased Jaxon around the house for hours

8 Things I wish I could do...
1. Finish School
2. Take a Week of Work
3. Take my kids to Disney Land
4. Truly inspire someone
5. Loose 15 lbs
6. Quit Smoking ( I know I know I can I have done it before I am just not ready yet)
7. Buy Jeremy A new truck
8. Take a trip to Mexico

8 Shows I watch
1.Desperate Housewives
2. Nip/Tuck
3. Armywives
4. Random stuff on the history channel
5. Hung
6. True Blood ( I am really confused because I only catch it every so often)
7. The Office
8. House M.D.

Friends I am Tagging
1. Amy
2. Ali
3. Jen
4. Paige

Welcome Back

The kids made it home. I picked Jessica up at the Airport at 4:40 her plane was right on time and I almost didn't make to the gate they left her suitcase on the plane which was a whole other disater. Then the Traffice and the 50 bucks I had to pay to park for and hour okay I am exaggerating a little but it is rediculous we pay for plane tickets and then we have to pay to park too. But we made it home. Ryan and Jessica were very happy to see eachother and Jaxon was extatic. Amy Graduated Massage school last week and we are all very proud of her. Way to go Amy! I have been just working to death but truthfuly I love my job and couldnt ask for better people to work with Troy has been great Ali, Heidi, Christina and Jen are Great Friends and I am even learning to Tolerate Nate. J is still working I havent seen him in three weeks now and I am getting lonesome so I think I may go out and visit him this weekend if I can get a sitter I am not taking the kids on a 6 hour one way drive that is suicide, or at the very least loss of my sanity which I have very little left of anyway.

They are Finally coming home up until about 3 hours ago I was dreading the arival of my oldest two children but I just got dont talking to both of them and I miss them something terribly dont get me wrong I love them and miss them when they are gone but it has been nice to just have some alone time. Jaxon however has been a handful. I dont think I realized how big of a help the kids are with him until they are gone, and they have missed so much he crawling up on his knees he was army crawling when they left, walking along furniture and standing on his own. I have so much to do tommorow to get ready for them to come home. Their rooms are a disaster I thought they were clean when they left and no on has been in them. What the heck? The house is a disaster I havent cleaned in a month cause I have had no one to clean up after but myself and quite frankly I dont want to clean up after myself so for the last month I havent Jeremy is still in Battle Mountain but I am hoping he will be home this weekend maybe tomorrow night the kids wont be here until Sunday night though so he will just miss them. I am sure they have changed so much it seems like every year when they come back they are so tan from all the summer fun and the swimming. I miss them tonz and I am looking forward to school starting I am getting very excited. Just thought you all should know they will be coming home Sunday. :)

Time flies when your having fun.

Oh my heck does time fly, Well Jessica and Ryan have been gone for half of their summer visitation already and it seems like they will never be home to be honest I kinda miss them. Shhhhhh don't tell anyone I said that. I did my school clothes shopping online today, I cant believe they will be going back to school soon. I seems like school just got out but I am really looking forward to them going back it seems like it keeps them busy. I am sure that my mom will be glad to have them back into school as well. Jaxon is walking along the furniture these days I cant believe it. I wish he was still unable to roll over. He is really missing his siblings and his Daddy. Jeremy is at work in Battle Mountain right now I am not sure when he will be don't hopefully not anytime soon. We really need the work. I am still working away work has finally calmed down a little and I think maybe knock on wood I might be getting the hang of things. Our 4Th wedding anniversary is coming up on Wednesday and I cant believe how the years have gone by yet sometimes it feel like it has been 14 years instead of 4. I have loved every day of it. Jeremy took me to Carrabbas for dinner this weekend as kind of a celebration because he will be at work and it was delicious. I would definitely go again, the steak was perfect the margarita was very yummy and Jaxon liked it too.

I still don't know what I am going to get Jeremy for a gift so if anyone has any suggestions speak up. I told him I want another tattoo he said go for it so I need to get an appointment I think I am going to get something inspired from this piece right here I have always loved this picture. Jeremy likes it too I did see another that I liked but I like this one the best.

Maybe I could convince Jeremy to come and get one with me but I doubt that is going to happen. It's a nice thought though he is a chicken. ;)

Peace and Quiet

Well it is just me and Jaxon today everyone left Jessica is in Washington with her dad has been for about a week now. Ryan is with his Mom Nikki went home and Jeremy went back to work it is just me and Jaxon. It is so wierd to have it just be the two of us it is quiet I have made a point to have the tv off and the music on. I am however just a little bit lonley but it will be good for me.

Work is going okay I feel some days that I just cant keep up with everything but I just keep trying.

Jeremy is having another slow year it seems like we just keep praying that he will work throught the fall. He is in Battle mountian Nevada right now and he says it is a horrible place it was 108 degrees there when he left on Friday I am sure it is miserable.

I cant wait for school to start again School shopping is one of my favorite things to do. I am already pickin out the kids clothes online. Dance is going to start again soon as well it seems like this year has just flown by before I know it, it is going to be Christmas.

Oh my heck it seems like it has been a million years since I have been on here. Well where to Start? We never ease into summer at our house it is always a face first belly flop right into the sesason. First things First Jessica's Birthday Party.... Well I guess we did okay this year, I managed to fashion some sort of guitar cake for her Hannah Montana Party and the house was full of guests even her long lost cousins on her dad's side of whom we are so lucky to have gotten in touch with. However, no matter how exciting it was it is always nerve wracking for me. I let her invite a few friends and anyone that knows me well knows that I dont do small children very well despite being a mom and having 3 children, Kids & me are like oil and water dont get me wrong I love my kids but I am just akward with children.

As if my life isn't crazy enough those of you who know where I work or a little about what is going on in there the last month will understand the extreme stress I have been under. Despite all the clean up and chaos I am actually enjoying my job better. I really like it there these days and ALI and HEIDI have been awesome I love you girls. Troy hasn't been half bad either. I am just hoping I can make it through the summer.

Jeremy's Birthday is Monday and I miss him tonz he is in Montana and I am not sure when he will be home I am hoping he makes it home by next weekend cause that is my birthday.

Ryan and Jessica will be leaving soon to go with Karli and Kody. Karli will be picking up Ryan on the seventh and Jessica will be flying out on the 10th and to be honest I am looking forward to the break. I hope to get the house deep cleaned and there rooms gutted and all school clothes shopped for before the come home ont the weekend of August 8th.

Jaxon is doing okay he has been a little difficult lately I dont really know what his deal is he is pulling himself up on the furniture and crawling everywhere almost 10 months old and still no teeth what the heck I am hoping that is part of his problem cause if it isn't I dont know what is wrong with him.

I will be picking up nikki on the 10 when I drop of Jessica at the airport and I cant wait for her to come down she is a big help I really appreciate the extra hands when she is around. I have to go now screaming kids but I will write again soon I promise I will try not to let it go 2 months again.

Bragging Rights

I just wanted to brag a little about my awesome kids. Ryan is in Baseball now and I dont feel bad saying he is the best kid in the league. He really is good at what he does. And he loves it so much. I am enjoying his games more and more I still reruse to be one of those soccer moms but I will go and watch the games for as long as I can sit through them. Jessica is in Dance now and she had her end of the year dance review last night she is the cute one in the purple incase you didn't know already. She was so addorable I cant wait until next year when we get to do it all over again all the girls are so cute but not as cute as mine.

24 questions

1. Who was your FIRST prom date? I didn't go to prom but I did homecoming it was Alex Carter.
2. Do you still talk to your FIRST love? Yes I talke to him on occasion I dont always know how to get ahold of him but he always shows up when I need him most or he needs me we are still good friends.
3. What was your 1st alcoholic drink? Malbu Rum. 4. What was your FIRST job? I shoveld horse S##t at a arabian horse ranch
5. What was your FIRST car? a 1985 Honda Accord.
6.Who was the FIRST person to text you today? I haven't even go a text today.
7.Who is the FIRST person you thought of this morning? My son Jaxon
8. Who was your FIRST grade teacher? Mrs Small. my mommy!
9. Where did you go on your FIRST ride on an airplane? Seattle Washington
10. Who was your FIRST best friend & do you still talk? Brook Raab yes sometimes.
11. Where was your FIRST sleep over? I cant remember.
12 Who was the FIRST person you talked to today? Jeremy
13. Whose wedding were you in the FIRST time? Tami Hunsaker Beach
14. What was the FIRST thing you did this morning? Played with Jaxon.
15. What was the FIRST concert you ever went to? Alan Jackson and Joe Nichols
16. FIRST tattoo? A horse shoe on my right hip
17. FIRST piercing? My ears when I was 8.
18 First foreign country you've been to? Never been outside the US.
19. FIRST movie you remember seeing? Benji
20. What was the first state you lived in? Utah
21. Who was/are your FIRST roommate(s)? Brittney and Justin.
22 If you had one wish. What would it be? For my husband and I to open a guide and outfitting service in Nevada or Wyoming
23. What is something you would learn if you had the chance? I would love to play the guitar
24. Who do you think will be the next person to post this? I am not sure I tag Ali

99 things

1. Started your own blog
2. Slept under the stars
3. Played in a band
4. Visited Hawaii
5. Watched a meteor shower
6. Given more than you can afford to charity
7. Been to Disneyland
8. Climbed a mountain
9. Held a praying mantis
10. Sang a solo
11. Bungee jumped
12. Visited Paris
13. Watched a lightning storm at sea.
14. Taught yourself an art from scratch
15. Adopted a child - i'm an adopted child does that count?
16. Had food poisoning
17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty
18. Grown your own vegetables
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France
20. Slept on an overnight train
21. Had a pillow fight
22. Hitch hiked
23. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill
24. Built a snow fort
25. Held a lamb
26. Gone skinny dipping
27. Run a Marathon
28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice
29. Seen a total eclipse
30. Watched a sunrise or sunset
31. Hit a home run-in elementary school
32. Been on a cruise
33. Seen Niagara Falls in person
34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors
35. Seen an Amish community
36. Taught yourself a new language
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person
39. Gone rock climbing
40. Seen Michelangelo’s David
41. Sung karaoke
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt
43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant
44. Visited Africa
45. Walked on a beach by moonlight
46. Been transported in an ambulance
47. Had your portrait painted
48. Gone deep sea fishing
49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling
52. Kissed in the rain
53. Played in the mud
54. Gone to a drive-in theater
55. Been in a movie
56. Visited the Great Wall of China
57. Started a business
58. Taken a martial arts class
59. Visited Russia
60. Served at a soup kitchen
61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies
62. Gone whale watching
63. Got flowers for no reason
64. Donated blood, platelets or plasma
65. Gone sky diving
66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp
67. Bounced a check
68. Flown in a helicopter
69. Saved a favorite childhood toy
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial
71. Eaten Caviar
72. Pieced a quilt
73. Stood in Times Square
74. Toured the Everglades
75. Been fired from a job
76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London
77. Broken a bone
78. Been a passenger on a motorcycle
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person
80. Published a book - no but I did the artwork for a childrens book
81. Visited the Vatican
82. Bought a brand new car
83. Walked in Jerusalem
84. Had your picture in the newspaper
85. Kissed a stranger at midnight on New Year’s Eve
86. Visited the White House
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
88. Had chickenpox
89. Saved someone’s life - at least they say I did
90. Sat on a jury
91. Met someone famous
92. Joined a book club
93. Got a tattoo
94. Had a baby
95. Seen the Alamo in person
96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake
97. Been involved in a law suit
98. Owned a cell phone
99. Been stung by a bee

Sweet Baby Jaxon

Oh Sweet Jaxon wont you please go to sleep I am exhausted. Jaxon is getting teeth I am pretty sure it has been a few years since my last baby but I am pretty sure that is what is wrong with him I have listened to him scream for the last 3 hours!!! Nothing and I mean nothing will make him happy I cant believe how quickly he is growing he looks nothing like the baby in this picture here. I am tired and frustrated with him but there is nothing I have wanted more than this baby I am so glad to have him here after 3 years of tears and a miscarriage I have him here to scream while I pull my hair out. It all goes by so fast I really must cherish every moment with him even if I want to cry with him.

Oh my Heck will it ever end?

Look at me could I be more exhausted? I have had enough, waiting on my boss for a meeting that he was an hour and a half late too it wasnt his fault but still irritating I got out of the office at 7 not really getting everythin off my chest that I needed to. I then head to my mom's to pick up my kids who are sick of me being home late every night, while getting the run down of the day from my mother about how many times Jaxon pooped and Ryan's book order being late and Jessie being sick I send the Big kids out side my sister walks in the door ( I never get to see her anymore she is in school up north) so I stay and talk to her for a minuet leaving the big kids outside moments later I hear the blood curdling scream come from my daughter I sigh and head for the door. She of course is sobbing so hard you cant understand a word she says. Between cry's I make out that Ryan slammed her hand in the car door while they were fighting over the front seat? What the hell? So I spend 15 minuets diagnosing her hand thank god it wasn't broken. I get her and Jaxon loaded in the car and then Ryan starts sobbing by this point I was not sure if I wanted to find out why I only live 2 blocks from my mom 30 seconds later we pull in the drive way get everyone in the house Jessica is still crying, Ryan is crying because his feeling were hurt, (I still am not sure why despite my efforts to decode his crying) and now Jaxon is crying. I dont know how much longer I can do this I do not have enough hands or time to go around Jaxon takes up most of my time and my poor big kids get neglected. They have been big helpers making their lunches to take to school and doing chores Ryan feeds and takes care of the animals as well as 2 rooms in the house a day and Jessica washes all the baby bottles by hand and helps with dinner as well as her household chores, but by the time I get home at night we have 2 hours together that spend trying to keep Jaxon happy because he needs to be held. I dont know if any of this makes any sense I just need to vent I miss Jeremy so much and I really could use the extra hands. I have to go now Jaxon is awake and crying and I need to go to bed. Thanks for listening I think I feel better now.

Hold on to those you love

While at work today I was struck by the thought that some marriages are not forever. I am happily married.(going on 4 years now) I also come from parents who have been happily married for 25+ years. My Husband is also very lucky his parents have been married for almost as long. I however have some friends as young as me who have not been as lucky. It makes me wonder what went wrong? Did these people truly love eachother, and if they did at what point do you just say enough... Dont get me wrong my marriage is far from perfect. We married young with two kids of our own from previous relationships. It took alot of work to get to where we are today a good 2 years to really get to where we were a whole family instead of two seprate families in the same house but I can not imagine a day that I would not have Jeremy here with me. The thought makes me ache. So I am back to the question when is it enough? I believe that if 2 people truly love eachother you should not give up marriage is thrown away to quickly now days I still believe that it is not disposable even after divorce there are still parts of you that you leave with the one who held you for a little while I dont believe you are completly whole again. My parents have had trial after trial and in the picture above they still stand my dad a little more feeble than the day he married her and my mom alot more tired and worn after all his illnesses and the hell my sister and I put her though but there they are Holding on to the one they love. I only hope that in another 20 years I can still be holding the one I love.

My Babies, here they are all 3 of em' up top is Jaxon he is the newest edition to the family born September 9, 2008. He was my long awaited angel he is the light of the family we all love playing with him he is sweet as pie.

Next is Ryan, 7, He loves playing baseball and is really looking forward to the coming baseball season that is all he can really talk about. He is the top reader in his class and he loves school much diffrent than last year when he hated to go. He also loves hunting with his Dad or playing baseball with dad or watching TV with Dad. Anything that is DAD DAD DAD.

And then there is Jessica, 5, my heck how she has changed she is my little dancer she is a total show off, she is in Ballet and Tap right now and loves every minuet of it she is also a big helper when it comes to her little brother Jaxon.